The Long Island Cannibal Massacre (1980)

  

 I’d read a little about Nathan Schiff and his movies. He wrote, directed and produced four features: WEASELS RIP MY FLESH, THE LONG ISLAND CANNIBAL MASSACRE, THEY DON’T CUT THE GRASS ANYMORE and VERMILLION EYES. WEASELS was made on a $400 budget when Schiff was just 16 and I believe all of these films were shot on super 8. All but VERMILLION are available on DVD.

     The plot here is really strange but enjoyable for this movie. You have to understand that this is extremely low budget stuff with no real actors and unpolished gritty footage. If you don’t mind all that then your in for a wild ride. The two main characters are Jim, an ex cop, and Jack a confused guy that’s mixed up in some recent killings. The story is that Jack’s father and four friends went to Africa and returned with a feverish leprosy that invokes in it’s victims an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Now since these men are weakened by their illness and shunned by society it’s up to Jack to provide them with their meals. So Jack hires Bruce, a man that always wears a pillowcase and swimming goggles over his head  and Zed, a young biker to kill victims for the hungry lepers.

 Jim does some snooping around and does get some information from here or there but I think his character is poorly developed through pointless scenes like the one on the yacht with his wife and conversations he has with his cop buddy. Therefore the quick change regarding his character at the end confuses more than shocks me.

 There are some pretty good gore scenes throughout including a lawnmower, a tire iron, a cinder block, a van door and a chainsaw used for gruesomely delightful purposes. Shall I add a fun scene where a delusional Jack has a conversation with a garbage bag full of body parts or when Jack brings food to one of his Dad’s friends crawling in the snow with a face full of what looks like squash yellow vomit.

You all know I rarely divulge much of the good stuff in the end of the film. I am only going to say that Jack revolts against his dad and has a final battle with him. Here are some excellent uses with a chainsaw and an assault rifle. And the very end is creepy and it involves children…Oh my!

3 / 5 STARS