Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1973)

 Bob Clark is known for mainstream comedies like PORKY'S and A CHRISTMAS STORY - but the dude also made BLACK CHRISTMAS, a proto-slasher , and one of my favorite horror films! Today I will be talking about a film he directed a year before BLACK CHRISTMAS . CHILDREN is a smart zombie film that goes to subtle dark places - blasphemous territory.

A group of actors, led by their eccentric director, Alan, decide to trespass on an island graveyard. Alan has planned a grand scheme of unholy depravity. They dig up the corpse of a man named Orville and the desecration of the dead is underway. For the most part, the others want nothing to do with this, but they are afraid of losing their position at the theater, so they go along with the madness. Alan pulls out a grimoire and chants demonic prayers to make the dead rise from their graves and make them servants. When nothing happens he is scoffed at by one woman that takes control and does her own satanic gibberish talk. Now praying to the almighty dark prince is one thing, but making a fool of him, well that’s dumb in every way. But that’s exactly what this crazy woman does. She taunts and mocks Satan for his apparent inaction.

They head to the groundskeeper’s home, now long abandoned, and bring Orville with them. Alan has a faux wedding ceremony in which he marries Orville and takes him up to a bedroom for their honeymoon?! One can’t possibly imagine something more gruesome or disrespectful. At about this time, the dead begin to rise out of the earth to make things right by killing the awful people that fucked around and disturbed things one should respect. In a panic, the group board up the house and try a counter-spell to restore things and save their asses. Things seem to work, but when they make a run for it, a swarm of zombies tear them to pieces. Orville has the pleasure of killing the depraved mad leader, Alan. Lesson learned: Children should not play with dead things!

The film mellows things out by adding humorous antics but the grim undertone remains. When Alan was praying to Satan it was a chilling scene. The zombies are not that menacing - but the really disturbing thing is Alan’s brazen disrespect. He should have been completely disemboweled on camera so we got to see true vengeance. All the characters are well developed and organic. The story is very interesting and the force of the narrative sets this movie apart from other zombie films. The character drama is where the center of the horror is. The zombies tie the loose ends.

There is a long segment at the beginning that really moves the story nowhere. It has to do with pranks and it delays the real action in the movie. I had a slight problem with the way the humor was introduced - it caused me to be annoyed with the characters and I thought I wasn’t going to like the movie. It is a good effort on Clark’s part; and although it has more of a cult appeal, I’m sure the average zombie buff will find something they enjoy here.

3 / 5 STARS